Tag or No Tag? Showing Not Telling

When writing every author will have their own opinions as to the presence and effectiveness of dialogue tags. Nobody is right and nobody is wrong. However with every word counting on the page there are different schools of thought. 

Stephen King says in ‘On Writing’ to only use said. 

Others will use dialogue tags very very sparingly or not at all. Stuart MacBride is an advocate of never using dialogue tags and his books rank very highly among my favourites

 

Yet again other authors will use all kind of different descriptive tags such as answered, snapped, asked, howled and so on and so on. 

Personally I now try to use as few dialogue tags as humanly possible with said being the only one I will use. My train of thought is that the character’s voices should be strong enough to denote the speaker. This for me is an extension of showing as opposing to telling. Different emphasis on certain words can change everything. 

Take for example the three passages below which all have exactly the same dialogue. 

Passage A

‘Go away,’ yelled Susan

‘I’m not going anywhere,’ snarled Brian angrily, ‘you cheated on me. Why should I leave?’

‘Please calm down,’ cried Susan.

‘Why should I be the one to leave?’ Brian repeated.

‘I haven’t got anywhere else to go,’ sobbed Susan.

‘And I have?’ asked Brian.

Passage B

‘Go away.’

‘I’m not going anywhere,’ said Brian, ‘you cheated on me. Why should I be the one to leave?

‘Please calm down.’

‘Why should I be the one to leave?’

‘I haven’t got anywhere else to go,’ said Susan.

‘And I have?’

Passage C

‘GO AWAY BRIAN!’

‘I’m not going anywhere. You cheated on me Susan. Why should I be the one to leave?

‘Please. Calm down.’

‘Why should I be the one to leave?’

‘I haven’t got anywhere else to go.’

‘AND I HAVE?’

 

For me Passage A is tagged to death and I would not enjoy reading anything which was written in this way. Also I hate seeing the word “asked” right after a question mark. The question mark itself shows that something is asked. This kind of overload has been known to make my teeth itch. I'm an adult for goodness sake. I'm not perfect at grammar but I know the squiggly line above a dot means someone has asked a question. (rant over)

Passage B is the middle ground and is indicative enough to identify the speakers without intrusion. This does tend to be the norm in most of the books I read and said become background chatter which is easily ignored.
Passage C is in my humble opinion the strongest of the three and says so much more than A or B because it treats the reader as an adult.

If the author were to have Susan move behind a table or shrink back from Jason in the narrative then it will show her fearing him. Or Brian could throw something across the room. It would be showing not telling, which every decent author always promotes. 

We all have an opinion on this. Please share yours.

 

The Next Big Thing - My Turn

With Apologies to Vic Watson for dropping her baton earlier in the year, I was tagged again by the uber talented Zoe Sharp

Here's my go at it.

What is the working title of your book?

The Ironmonger’s Error

Where did the idea come from for the book?

It came from wanting to write a novel about a detective who was a throwback to the old days trying to survive in a modern police environment. I also wanted to write a novel which has a detective investigating the fringes of a case which is much more serious than he realises.

What genre does your book fall under?

It is a crime thriller with overtones of suspense.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

Ideally George Clooney and Brad Pitt would play the two main leads but I’d settle for Jedward if the producer’s cheque was fat enough.

What is the one sentence synopsis of your book?

Two respectable parents are forced into a life of crime to raise the ransom for their children’s release.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Hopefully I can get a publishing deal in the traditional manner. One agent has already looked at it and given me advice on what I would need to change. Another agent has asked to see it.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

It took two years of very on-off writing.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

That’s a tough one as I have tried very hard to be original. I cannot think of another book which is similar but I’m sure there is one out there. Perhaps the TV show Life on Mars but in reverse as my lead character is very abrasive and not at all politically correct.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

All the author’s I’ve ever read had a hand in me writing this novel, but on a personal level it has been Col Bury who has kicked my backside and got me pounding the keyboard on a regular basis.

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

It starts off as a kind of police procedural with the police being unaware of the kidnapping and the lead detective facing an unwanted retirement. When they find out about the kidnapping roughly halfway through the book the story takes on a different complexion as the lead character moves heaven and earth to rescue the two children.

 

As most people I know have already been involved in this meme or whatever it’s called I’m gonna tag five eBooks I’ve read this year as a cunning twist / easy get out. I'll let you decide which.

Manchester 6 by Col Bury

Cracking dialogue with a wonderfully gritty feel throughout. 

Buy Manchester 6

 

From a Crowded Mind by David Barber
A sense of place so acute I nearly cut myself reading it.

Buy From a Crowded Mind

 

The Village Idiot Reviews by Pete Sortwell

A great premise brilliantly executed.

Buy The Village Idiot Reviews

 

The Blues Detective by Andrew Peters
A new twist on the American gumshoe stories which makes for lighter and easier reading

Buy The Blues Detective

 

Across the Broken Line by Zoë Sharp

A Charlie Fox short story with a fractured timeline that keeps you guessing all the way through.

Buy Across the Broken Line

 

A late addition to my list is LinkedIn friend Sarah Baethge who will be posting her NBT here on the 10th of December